Click
here for a really, really,
obnoxiously impersonal message
from Kevin & Bean (au file --
158 Kb)
Bill & Sylvia, on-air "personalities" from easy-listening station Big Mix
104, sent Kevin & Bean their autographed picture in gratitude for years of
public
humiliation.
If you have a telephone, television and a computer -- you will never have to leave home again. You will never have to cook again! Just call Pizza Man, he'll deliver all your meals.
Actually, with the electronics age, you'll never have to go anywhere again. Through television, the world will come to you. You sit in that old rocker and watch the world going by. You won't have to live through any experiences. You'll just be a sidelines participant. And if you don't understand the full scope of what is happening around you, you'll have a well-informed commentator explaining things...this is the modern electronic age! Throw away your American Express Card...because you'll never leave home again!
FOR A FREE BUMPER STICKER, SEND SELF-ADDRESSED, STAMPED ENVELOPE TO:
AL GREENWOOD, THE BEDSPREAD KING.
And now it's time to...HUMILIATE RICK DEES!
We don't hate him...we just think everyone else should. Here's why:
Rick got lost on his way to eternal damnation. Can YOU put him back on
the right track? Hurry...his Infernal Majesty is waiting!
by The Phantom Swan
10. They are NEVER seen in the same place at the same time.
9. They both have that same dazed look in their eyes.
8. Rick Dees had a secretary named Barney , and Barney had a secretary named Rick Dees.
7. Neither look anything like a REAL dinosaur.
6. They both had TV shows not watched by ANYONE over 8 years old.
5. They both pre-tape shows so they can come in at 7 am.
4. Both are recruiting disciples in their quest for world domination.
3. When listening to "Disco Duck" backwards, it sounds almost like it says "I am Barney, kiss my yellow toe nails."
2. Both suck any and all publicity they can get from the media.
1. When placed in the microwave, both will pop if not poked with a fork first.
AGENT MOLDIER MUMBLES INCOHERENTLY INTO HIS POCKET NOTE RECORDER TO AGENT STOIC ABOUT UFO AND ELVIS SIGHTINGS.
Dear Kevin & Bean-
My husband and I listen to your show every work morning and really get a
lot of laughs- thank you for making our mornings
HILARIOUS!
The other morning when you were in Seattle you mentioned that you
had gotten 2 parking tickets, and you didn't "blast" parking enforcement
officers- and I especially want to thank you for that. I am a parking
officer in Burbank and believe me, we are such easy targets for everyone
to make fun of, or make objects of hateful remarks. thanks again!
Your show is number "1" with us and I especially like Lisa May's comments.
Sincerely,
Chuck & Sharon Dellamarie
